School daze...School daze

Hell of all fiery hells, the kids are home from school for the fun=filled Thanksgiving break!! This is just as bad as those damn snow days. Its a conspiracy I tell you, those damn teachers are probably together right now laughng devilishly about making us poor parents take care of our own damn kids during the week. Its their turn damn it (lots of sobbing and foot stomping going on )!! I was on the phone whining about this very subject to my mother...and can you believe it? She had absolutely no sympathy for me.!!

"Well Wendy, now you finally know what your father and I went through for all those years...suffer baby just suffer!!:"

Btw, I sent away for some concentration camp type retirement homes right after getting off the phone with mama hitler... I will just say "lets go to lynch....I mean lunch...mom", and right when she is lulled into a false sense of security by the promise of 2for1 burritos at the local diarrhea hut, I will toss her ass right out of the car...without stopping...at the fun fun fun old folks lock up!! muahahahahahaha!!! Just kidding!!!!! But, that kinda felt good for a minute...hahahahahahah!

Back on topic... Do you remember when you were a kid waking up on those wonderful No School days? You open your eyes, stretch luxuriously, and just lay there basking in the glow that is free time away from those bastard teachers...Where did the time go? Yes, I can remember what it felt like, but now I am just a dried up, bitter old bitch who is pissed cause her free babysitter is ditching her for the Holiday Break! AHhhhhhhhhhhhh...I love my kids, I love my kids, I love my kids...Those are the words I will be silently whispering over and over again in my head all weekend long. Its my stategy ya see, to make sure that I don't end up on the 6 o'clock news as their latest white trash child beating story>

"Excuse me sir, are you a neighbor of the woman in custody?"
"Why shore I am...Hey, I'm on the news" (makes funny faces and grunting noises to back up the whole white trash image...we wouldn't want to confuse the public now would we?)
"Sir, sir, what was your name for the record? Billy joe bob? Okay...can I get you to tell me exactly what happened here today Billy joe bob?"
"Well hold on to your britches missy and I will...We was all just sittin around eatin supper, and all hell broke out at the house over yonder"...(points next door with grease stained finger)
"Alls I know is, she is normally such a quiet person and suddenly she just flipped ya know? The kids came runnin out tha house and her man came runnin too..." (keeps trying to make bunny ears behind the reporters head)
"And when they found her, she was droolin and foamin at the mouth, mumblin sumptin about bastard teachers and free babysitters"..."Its always the shy types ya know?"
"Yes, I know...hey stop that...you cant moon people on the television...hank, turn off the camera..now dammit..."

Damn, I sure hope that "I love my kids" thing works cause I don't want to spend Thanksgiving weekend down at the clink with billy joe bob and his cousins. (Billy joe, was arrested for the mooning thing I guess...hahahahahahah)

Have a fabulous holiday folks...eat a lot...watch football...and above all, annoy the hell out of your fucked up family, cause I know thats exactly what I will be doing!

see ya
wmy