Saturday, January 28, 2006

Welfare whore

Hi kids!! Its me, little miss MIA!!
First things first...EGAN, QUIT MESSIN WITH ME MAN!!!!!!! LOL and LMAO again!!!! Egan likes to try and make people feel guilty for not commenting back on the comments that were left...but, he has failed again!!! Wait, maybe not...otherwise, why would I be taking all this time to say that his guilt trip didn't work, if it didn't???????? AHHHHHHHHHH!! Damn you Egan, you got me again! LOL........ Ok, nuff about Egan for now...........(I will talk about you again, prolly later k?hahahahahhohohohoheheheheheheeeeeeeeee

Ok, I feel much better now! Thank you all for your comments about that big nasty whore that I work with...you don't know how bad I wanted to print up my post, and all of your comments and show them to that walking case of cock cancer.....but, alas, I had to show some restraint! Dammit!! LOL

Why is it that the cheapest people in the world always seems to come to my place of employment, and make it their mission in life to torture me? Really, if any of you have an answer to that, I would really appreciate some feedback.... Let me set the scene for ya k......

Friday night, I am in the lounge, and we are fucking packed!!! In walks the shitstain family...2 parents, 2 grandparents, and 10 kids...yep, thats right, 10 of those little free lunch getting, welfare bastards!! Now, the lounge is smoking, and of course all four of the adults lit up immediately...why in the world would they try and save their kids lungs right? (Oh fuck, I am sure they smoke around the little beggars all the time at home anyway, so whatever) Ok, now, the mom, (welfare whore #!) actually had the balls (she probably did have a set of hairies hanging low too) to ask me if we accepted the bridge card! For those of you who don't have the misfortune of mingling with the guttersluts of the world, a bridge card looks just like a regular credit card, only it is for food stamps.

I got done choking, and told welfare whore #1 that no, we did not accept food stamps! At this point, the grandma (welfare whore #2) proceeded to argue with me, and tell me that I should tell my manager that we would get more business if we started accepting the bridge card!!! Oh, yes...... please, lets scour every fucking trailer park in America, and get every single welfare receiving bastard to come in to our restaurant!! Pretty pretty please....make all my dreams come true!!!

Of course, they order the most expensive shit on the menu, and I serve it...check on them...check again...and wouldn't you fucking know it...after eating over half of their meals...every single one of those damn drains on the economy said there was something wrong with their food!!! Rotten sons-a-bitches!! Cut to the manager coming over, (not the weasle manager, this is a good manager) he talks to the maggots...and they are demanding that he do something to "make them happy", or they would tell everyone they know not to ever come into our restaurant!! *Clutching my chest* Oh, no, say it aint so...no more scum bags??? Please, not that!! Fuck off and die dickheads, is basically what my manager said to them...only with much prettier language, and with his "manager on duty" smile plastered across his face the entire time! It was great...I wasn't even too pissed about not getting a tip (you didn't think those fuckers would actually tip me did ya?) LOL Nope, they had to pay for their entire bill...hahahahahahahahahah and hahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!

We get so many people who try that kind of shit....it really is sad how cheap people can be!!
Now, on the flip side, we also get plenty of people who are great to wait on, and they tip us for a job well done! Man, I wish I could invent a little radar to scan the customers as soon as they walk in the door...it would beep, and either say "Run girl, run...I am a cheap piece of shit!!" or, it would say "Quick, put me in your section, I am a fabulous tipper!" AHHHHHHHHH...dreamy dreamy dreams..... Maybe someday...

see ya
wmy

49 comments:

egan said...

Wow, I don't think I have ever seen my name in one blog post some many times. I am very flattered. you love to be harassed.

We had an ugly incident while dining out tonight. So bad that the owner invited us to come back in for free desserts. I was impressed. Have a great weekend Wendy.

Oh, I think my sister paid your establishment a visit Friday. That's the kind of crap she would pull.

wmy said...

Yep, you got me...harassment get me hot!! kidding...kidding...maybe! LOL
Go smack your sister for me k? hahahaha
Have a great weekend too!!!

Anonymous said...

Egan is just looking for attention. Ignore him and he might go away haha j/k Egan :)

I'll have to go to your restaurant some time and be a really awkward customer to see how much I can piss you off. Then maybe I'll have a post dedicated to me. What name would you give me?

Tina said...

LMAO OMG that was a hilarious post and thanks for explaining...I had no idea and I didn't think you could even use welfare dough in any restaurant? wow

Very funny! LOL

Tim said...

I wouldn't dream of going to a restaurant if I were on food stamps.... I would want as few people as possible to know as well. Seems like some people use it as if it's a great honor to be on them.

I rarely go out to eat, since I'm usually on a budget and money is tight. My kids usually ask me if we can get some fast food or something, and I usually say no. But then we go to a store and I might buy them something small...

barman said...

With that new device you could send the bad ones on to the big nasty whore and keep the good ones. Keep in mind, however, just because you get tipped well does not mean you will be treated well and with respect as well.

I am a cheap basterd. Sometimes I leave no tip when the service was terrible. Other times I am so impressed that I tip over 20 percent. For the most part, however, I only tip about 15 percent. So you would not get rich off of me but I do promise I would treat you with resepect.

Michele in Michigan said...

OMFG!

You told this verrrrrry well! Amazing that they really thought you'd BEG management to start accepting the bridge card. Great. Pay for your meal with food stamps and make sure to stiff your server, too. Mmmmkay?

How many of the little booger eaters got smacked at least once during their big evening out? Ahhhh, it always makes my heart soar to hear the cussword-thwack-howl while eating in a restaurant!

I am especially proud of your manager for NOT backing down. YOU knew you weren't gonna get a tip the minute they asked about the bridge card. I thought for SURE they'd find a way to walk out without paying. So you didn't really LOSE a tip, right? Shit, I hope someone ELSE tipped well enough to cover what THEY didn't give you. Grrrr

yournamehere said...

Can you use Monopoly money at your restaurant? I have a shitload of the stuff.

Phats said...

I think Nutty is utterly and completely scared of your blog haha

SignGurl said...

Too funny that you said the Bridge Card is like a credit card! That's how they use it when I'm at the grocery store. I'm buying day old stuff and they have filet minion in their basket. They whip out the Bridge Card and swipe it just like it's a platinum card with no limit.

For those of you not in Michigan, someone here in the government decided that it would be more humane to make welfare recipients use a card that looks more like a debit or credit card. It's got a picture of the Mackinaw Bridge on it, hence the name.

Bat said...

You would love me -- I am an awesome tipper. There is a mexican rest. the man and I frequent and they treat us like royalty there because they know I tip well.

One of servers, looks like Nick Lachey, waited on a table of 4 and he did an excellent job, they left him a 16 cent tip. I felt so bad for him I left him a $20.00 tip -- poor kid.

Mike said...

What up Egan? Oh, and I tip very well!

egan said...

I feel you Gareth. Wendy is so much fun to tease. Customer service folk just aim to please. That's good for the rest of us.

Anonymous said...

Egan I really hope you AREN'T feeling me!!! HA!

The Great and Might Os said...

When people try that shit at the bar, we make it a point to take away what's left of the food immediately - faking concern and tellingthem, "let us get this out of your way since you didn't care for it". Then we make them pay anyway....full price. And the best part is, they never even got to finish the meal. They always bring this up, to which I explain, "I asked if you wanted it gone and you said 'yes', so there".

Otherwise, just wait for them to threaten not to return, and when they do, say "Great, thank you, we appreciate it".

I just can;t decide who's hotter... Welfare Whore #1 or #2. I do love an older, experienced woman.

egan said...

Dogg, we need to teach you some American slang. I won't touch you buddy. Gareth, gnome sane?

Tumbleweed said...

I would totally be in your section. I don't eat out if I can't tip and I am very patient. I don't even like eating next to people like that, so I hope they never come back. Actually, they sound just like my ex in-laws, so I wouldn't be surprised if I already know them. You're not in Kansas are you??

Anonymous said...

Egan lol I know what you meant. I was only joking. I need to teach you a little Irish humour HAHA! :P

egan said...

Gareth, can we make out?

Anonymous said...

Pucker up Egan :P

yournamehere said...

Wendy, where the fuck are you? Hey, if you don't want to update your blog, that's your business; but when you don't comment on mine, I take that personally.

Mike said...

That is just wrong! Glad you are still among the living!

Phats said...

I have a headache

egan said...

Todd, that's exactly what I'm talking about. I don't care if she's making out with her toothless co-worker or not... but where are her comments on my blog. I mean shit!

Gareth - I feel a little warm inside.

Anonymous said...

Hey do you think Wendy would mind if we 'took over' her blog for a while and just left random messages on it every now and again??? :P

Hey yo Egan you can take the hot water bottle out of your pants now.

Tim said...

gareth, you may have something there. She doesn't seem to be using it...

egan said...

I'm going to post spam on here then.

SignGurl said...

Can I get in on this little take over party?

Maybe we could post anal sex porn sites!

Maybe that will get her attention.

Anonymous said...

Let's start a revolution guys! Who is with me???

egan said...

I hope Wendy didn't put too many hairs in customer's food or something terrible like that. Mutiny!

SignGurl said...

I'm with you guys.

So who has the anal porn links?

SignGurl said...

I'm with you guys.

So who has the anal porn links?

SignGurl said...

Oops, I stuttered!

Tim said...

"General, count me in."
-Princes Leia to Han Solo in Return of the Jedi

www.pornsites.com

jk

SignGurl said...

Thanks for the backup Green!

Even Anal Sex hasn't brought her out!

Wendy, I hope you are alright and not mad that we are taking over. It's a mutiny!

Tim said...

sign: I don't think that's a real web address. I just made it up.

But I'll have your back anyway - make the hubby jealous!!!! ooooooh

egan said...

Still no disgruntled food service employee yet?

barman said...

Well we might as well get a poker or eucher game going why we wait for Wendy ... Oh man, I turned up a 9 of diamonds ... I never was good at dealing in eucher.

SignGurl said...

Damn you Barman, I'm your Euchre partner and you turn up a 9? *sigh*

*looks around* No disgruntled food service worker here.

egan said...

My mom told me to pick the very best one and you are not it!

Anonymous said...

I'll have a chicken burger, fries, small side order of salad and a large coke to go please. Heyyyy don't run away with it, it's for me, not you. Everyone chase her, she's getting awayyyyy .......

Polyman2 said...

My tipmeter thinks your a 10!

egan said...

I'm leaving her pennies for a tip whenever I got my check.

SignGurl said...

I just dealt my self the right bauer. Should I pick it up, Barman?

Yeah, that's what I thought too!

Tim said...

I see our little mutiny is proceeding according to plan. Right on schedule.
---

waitress, I'll have a large cheese pizza with 'shrooms & onions & hamburger, and a six pack of Mountain Dew. And I'll tip ya real good too.

SignGurl said...

Ok, Barman, we took 4 tricks that time and we were lucky! It's your deal.....

Anonymous said...

Hey Green I think I'll join you in that Mountain Dew. Hey waitress I'll take a six pack too. Oh and they must be cold! ;)

SignGurl said...

WENDY! Yes, I know I shouted but I hope you can hear me. Where are you, girl? It's been two weeks since we have heard from you. I hope that everything is ok for you.

Let the blog takeover commence.....

egan said...

Wendy is back and she's ignoring our comments. I knew she wanted us to take over her blog. She's swell like that.