The glance of death

I am wet, wet, wet...soaking, sopping wetttttttttttt!! And before you sick bastards start thinking about steaming wet 'ginas, let me just say I am only wet from the rain in my fair city...wait, maybe its only my sick fucking mind that immediately goes straight for the gutter when I hear the word WET!! maybe?? Oh, who gives a fuck anyway right? right!!

I had to give out a verbal beat down today. Let me tell you all about it ok?

I have been turning in applications at different restaurants lately, cause, a bitch just needs some money okayyyyyyy??
Well, I turned in one at this busy restaurant last week, and got a call for an interview for today. On the phone, the guy was sugary sweet. We talked a little about how much experience I have bartending and serving (tons) and he mentioned that he was so glad to get an applicant with experience rather than just the fresh out of highschool kids that he had to completely train. He said he looked forward to seeing me, and we ended the phone call.

Flash forward 2 hours...it is now 1:30 and I show up for the interview...looking damn good if I do say so myself. I had taken special care with my make-up and clothing. All primped, and coiffed, I was ready to go!

Or so I thought...

I walk in, ask for Mr. Boss, and the pretty 110lb hostess gives me the old up and down glance of death...I should have realized right there that I was in trouble, but I stuck it out.

Mr. Boss comes out...weighing at least 300lbs...gives me the exact same glance of death, and then pastes the biggest, fakest smile on his fucking face I have ever seen.

"Wendy, I presume?"

"Yes, nice to meet you" I replied with a sinking feeling in my stomach

"You are hear for the bartending and serving postion right?"

"Yes I am"

"Well, ahhhhhhh...I probably should have mentioned on the phone that I do not have a bartending or serving position right now....uhhhhmmmmm, maybe we could offer you a job in the kitchen>"

My mouth drops to the floor
I should mention here that all of this "interview" is taking place out in the lobby of the restaurant. He had not even asked me to sit down! Also, as we were speaking, several servers could be seen walking around, and let me just say than Nicole Richie had nothing on these chicks!

"I have never worked in a restaurant kitchen in my life!" I said, more than a little pissed at this point of our "interview."

"Oh, we would be willing to train you"

I can feel my blood pressure start to creep up to dangerous levels.

"So, let me get this right, you are willing to train me to do a job...one which is out of view of the public, when you told me on the phone...2 HOURS AGO... than you were sick of having to train people?"

Now, he is just looking at me and blinking

"Look, I realize that I am not a size 2, but, I guarantee you I can bartend circles around anyone you have working here...including you!"

"Wendy, your size has absolutely nothing to do with this. I just do not have an opening for you at this time. I have nothing against you for not being thin. I completely respect you."

All this is said very fast without him taking a single breath

"Oh, I can tell that you respect me...thats why you offered me a seat for this interview right?
Because it would be soooooooooo disrespectful to make me just stand out in the lobby right?"

At this point, I walk up very close to him, lean in realllllll close to his face and whisper,
"By the way, your fly is open, you have a button missing on your shirt...........................

AND YOUR GUT IS SHOWING!!!!!"

I flounced right out of there, went home, and immediately called the corporate office. I have an interview at one of their other restaurants, and belly boy probably will not have a job for very long!!! hahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahah
** Iam sure this has something to do with the fact that I mentioned weight discrimination, lawsuit, and fraud several times in the conversation with the corporate office**

Fucking fuckers!!!