Saturday, July 08, 2006

arggggggg

Ya know, sometimes I feel like all I do on this damn blog is complain...what the hell, why break with tradition right??

So, I went ahead and took the job at the other location. First day, first table...holy shit!!! Why, oh why do I subject myself to this misery?? Cause I have kids to feed right?? And speaking of kids, lets get back to my first table of the night. The hostess comes up t0 me grinning like an idiot...I should have known right there!! She says she has a ten top for me...Great I think...money!! Then she starts setting it up.....4 boosters, 2 high chairs....what the fuck is going on here??? Are there gonna be ANY adults I think?? Well, imagine my joy when I find out that my money making 10 top has turned into 2 adults, and 8 of the messiest, rudest, most ill-mannered little ankle biters you have ever seen!!

I walk up to the table with a smile plastered on my face...ready for war, so to speak.
"Hi folks, can I start you off with something to drink?" 3 of the brats are already up and running by this point, and mom is arguing with little "jimmy" about whether or not we serve "horse meat" or not!!!

"NO, they don't have horse meat dammit!!" mom says with clenched teeth.
"Oh yeah they do!!!! I member seeing it on TV the nother day mom!!!"
"No they don't!!"
"Yes they dooooooooooooooooooooo!!"
Mom proceeds to reach under the table and PINCH little jimmy with all her might!! Go mom, go!!
By this point, I had already repeated my opening line about 3 times...with NO response about what they wanted to drink of course. What could I do?? Well, I did the only thing I could think of....I proceeded to whistle as loud as I could to get their attention. I CAN WHISTLE REALLY REALLY REALLY LOUD TOO!!!
Mom looks at me all offended. To which I respond (still with a smile plastered to my face) that I am now ready to take their drink order. 4th time here folks. I get the drink order and off I go to get 8 kid cokes and 2 waters with lemon. The kid cokes are free with the meal of course...with free refills too. Joy, oh joy!! And I just KNEW from experience, that mom and dad would be drinking their kid's drinks every chance they got!!

Speed forward, I have taken their food order, and refilled all 8 cokes...one of these little jokers was sucking down coke so fast, I thought he was gonna fucking explode!! All the while, mom and dad are just sitting there, as their little demon spawn run all over the restaurant and scream and throw things. They were totally ruining the dining experience for the other tables...who were glaring daggers at mom and dad by now! Of course these parents of the year did not notice...I had already saved one of the brats from being burned because he had run into another server with a huge tray of food, and she almost dropped the whole thing on his head.
So, little one asks for ANOTHER coke, and I ask mom if he can have one...he has already had about 2 gallons. She says sure, he drinks coke like that all the time at home! Well, no wonder he is acting like a crack head, fiending for another hit!!
These fools had made such a nuisance of themselves, that management had to go to the table and ask them to control their kids. They were SO OFFENDED!! Like this had never happened to them before!! YEAH RIGHT!!!
They demand that I bring them their bill. I bring the tab to them...I had never once been rude or ungracious to these idiots...well, except maybe for the whistling! lol
Yep, you can probably guess the end of this one people.....
NO TIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love my job!!
see ya
wmy

13 comments:

barman said...

I promise that should you ever wait on me ... 1) I will do the same thing with the drinks, sorry. 2) I will leave you a decent tip.

I don't get how people can do that. I think it is time to have the following on the menu: "Parties of 6 or more automatically have 15 percent gratuety added to the bill".

Unknown said...

LOL @ ten top - great expression :p

They are cheap skates! If you can afford to eat out then you can afford a reasonable tip as well. That's my take on it anyway.

SignGurl said...

Oh, I so wanna have you wait on me. I'll leave you a 40% tip. I'd give you more if I could afford it.

Crabby said...

Big tables are almost never big money, wmy. Which is why back in my serving days, I sooo pretended I couldn't handle anything bigger than a six top. LOL! And I didn't much like those. Seemed like it would always be a couple and 4 kids.

I had two gals pull their own soda out of their purses once. They actually had the nerve to ask me for ice. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha!

And, you guessed it, no tip.

Phats said...

that's shitty no tip for all that! that'd piss me off.

Sounds like a fun job haha :) I would promise to tip you great!

Tim said...

you can't make this stuff up!!!

great story.... now that you're not living it.

Ida had nightmares.....for weeks....

Unknown said...

I think she has disappeared again :/

SignGurl said...

Yooo hooo. Come out, come out, where ever you are.

Unknown said...

Tick tock tick tock lol :p

Tim said...

looks like she's gone AWOL again....

barman said...

Hey you, I saw you 'neeking around on a blog. Come out, come out where ever you are!!!

Hey I have a TIP for you!






Darn, I thought that would have got you.

Tim said...

two months without a post is waaaaay too long. SO I'M UNLINKING YOU. IF YOU EVER COME BACK TO BLOGLAND, give me A HOLLA AND I'll RELINK YOU.

Peace.

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